English/104 Minutes/2006/Not Rated
"Death Train" is an average TV movie that is undone by a ridiculous ending and overdirection. With three words I can tell you whether or not you'd like this movie. If the words “Catholic Kung-Fu” sound like brainless fun have I got a movie for you.
“Death Train” tells the story of Matthais (Simon Dutton, who looks like James Van Der Beek), a former soldier in the war in Kosovo. He has come to a monastery to live out his days in peace. However, he is secretly being groomed by the society “Pugnus Dei” (roughly Fist of God) who work as “Catholic secret agents.” Matthais along with his friend Gladius (Stephan Bieker) along with their mentor Matthew are on the pilgrimage train to Lourdes, where all sorts of afflicted people come to pray for healing.
Among the passengers is Sandra and her son Joey who has a rare blood disease that the insurance won't pay for. Also among the passengers are Lennart (Arnold Vosloo), Jurek (Mario Irrek), and Zandi (Michelle MacErlean), gangsters who have stolen a killer virus. Once the police discover who is aboard they refuse to stop the train and the only ones who can save the day are Matthais and Gladius.
Matthais is a typical suffering hero, like Cain in Kung Fu who always tries to avoid combat and killing people to leave his past behind. But like any typical action movie he is forced by circumstance to fight the gangsters one by one, hand-to-hand, usually on top of the moving train. It may sound ridiculous and it is but the fights are well filmed and much of the stunt work (car chases, explosions, helicopter crashes) is straight from the Joel Silver playbook (something has to happen every 10 minutes).
The film has above average writing for most of the picture. The solutions for innoculating the passengers and some of the plot twists and resolutions are clever and for the most part feel organic to the story. Again, if you can get past the silly premise the movie plays like “Under Siege 2” meets “The Da Vinci Code.” It's just unfortunate that it falls apart in the final reel.
In the last 10 minutes the story and the characters' actions are physically impossible, not even feasible and turn out to be just plain silly. I can deal with one dimensional villains and silly plot conceits (what I call a “gimme” every movie gets one) but once a film crosses the line into utter impossibilty then I can't enjoy it.
The film's other great black mark is the over editing and direction of the film. There are several great moments of direction (note the flashback scene where we get a dutch angle from the ground. But for everyone of these comes something really boneheaded like the constant use of ramp up and ramp down of film speed. Also every explosion is shot from 10 different angles and cut and recut so we see it over and over, sucking out any coolness or pleasure that comes from these stunts by becoming overlong and irritating.
If you're looking for a fun Friday night film you could do better, but you could also do worse. The film is predictable and derivative but fun and the acting and writing are above average for a TV film. If it wasn't for the ending it might have been worth watching. I can't say I recommend “Death Train” but if you're looking for some decent hand-to-hand fights and don't mind the concept it's a lot of fun.
Not Rated: Contains Violence and Brief Language
No comments:
Post a Comment